What is your passion? Ever thought about what you’d do if fear wasn’t a factor? Sometime ago, my Pastor posed this question at church, and it has been on my mind, as well as it has been my driving force ever since. It’s amazing how many of us let fear hold us back from following our hearts desire. When that thing comes up, we question ourselves and negativity takes control of our thoughts. Are we good enough? Will we be accepted? Will we fail? I have done this to myself many times, and I have to be honest, this very thinking has held me back more often than I’m even comfortable with admitting. When I was in 7th grade, we had an assignment to write a 300 word essay. After a week, the teacher passed the graded work back to the class, and some students read theirs aloud during class, which had me baffled because I was the only student who didn’t get my aasignment passed back to me at all. At the end of class, the teacher asked me to stay behind. I was so worried, I thought, I must have really messed up bad on my essay. Let me just say, no one can ever tell me that a teacher can’t make the world of difference in the life of a child. What she said to me that day, changed my life forever. She said “You are a brilliant writer, your only in 7th grade and you write really, really well. I want you to promise me that you will never stop writing and I was so impressed with your essay that I showed it to the principle and some of the other teachers and we all agreed that we want you to enter the national essay contest”. I couldn’t believe it. I remember crying, and being extremely embarrassed. The short end of the story is that I was entered in that contest, and although, I didn’t win, the experience with my teacher is something that I will never forget. That day, in that classroom, something was birthed in me, and from that day to this one, I haven’t stopped writing. Since then, I’ve been passionate about it. Although, I have mainly just been writing for myself, it’s still super important to me. Over the years so many friends and family have truly encouraged me to write, to share my gift with the world. To write my life story even. This is hard, and I have to be honest again and admit, this is where the fear kicks in. Honestly, I want people to like what I write, but at the same time, I don’t want to be judged for my views. I’m very guarded and extremely private. I have a small circle, and I keep the most important parts of me, to me. I am my own worst critic, and through my writing, I reveal to myself that, I didn’t go as far as I should have in the educational sense, and I beat myself up for that. My premature education, my privacy, nor my heart, should be judged. At this time in my life, I’m just sort of at an, it is what it is type of place, and fear cannot keep me shackled any longer. And this is how I came to the realization at church that day. I was meant to be there, and I was meant to get that message, and yes, it did happen just like that. It may seem minute, but for me, it was profound. Bishop Thomas asked “what would you do if fear wasn’t a factor? That thing, that you fear the most, is the thing you should be doing”. It was like someone had turned on a lightbulb and it was my true Ah ha moment. And so, after much praying and self encouragement I started writing my blog :-). I’m on the world wide web now, so I’ll say, fear is out the window and anonymity is no longer a factor. Even though it’s a baby step for me, compared to the giant leap I will take someday, I am on my way. And it feels great! Even if no one gets me, and even if no one reads me, I have taken steps to conquer my fear and I, am winning. I am being true to me, keeping my faith, one story at a time.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
Have a blessed day all!