Happy Monday Dears… I’m about to ramble a bit, so brace yourselves, but please keep reading for their is a message in my rambling. By now ya’ll know, it’s always some discovery with me. Ok, so today, I’m making a declaration. And let me tell ya’ll, this mess has got to stop! After trying on several outfits this morning that were either too small or too tight, I am disgusted and taking a full on approach to challenge myself yet again. I am making a declaration. I’m about to start exercising and eating healthier more balanced meals, because the “I’m not a player, I just crush a lot” look is not working for me at all. There are some very unhealthy habits that I’m going to have to break. For starters, I snack entirely too much. I be going in too on Cakes, cookies, candy, chips, oh my word the chips. I be needing that salty crunch in my life. The soda too. I had previously abandoned soft drinks for well over a year. I was the water queen. Now here I go again, overdosing on soda and now I’m the soda queen. The next order of business is putting my co-workers in check! They are a bad influence. Yep, that’s right; they are going to take some of the blame. These queens have been ordering out everyday for the past two weeks, and me and my crazy self been jumping right on the bandwagon. They come to my desk, real matter of fact like and say to me, “what we eating for lunch today”… I’m telling them, I’m not ordering lunch with ya’ll, whole time skimming my desk drawer for food menus. Em, em, em… Like my four year old daughter says, I am a mess! Ha! Cheese steaks, Fish subs, chicken cheese steaks, French fries, pizza, the whole 9 yards.
I just don’t like the way my current wardrobe is fitting me. I want to shop for new clothes because I want to, not because I have to because nothing fits. I was cool with being a size 8, ok when I ended at the size 10, but now some of the 12’s are getting to tight. Oh no….
No offense to the ladies that are happily embracing and wearing a size 12 or above. This is strictly a “me” thing. I guess I will always see myself as a skinny girl, because I pretty much always have been. It’s the past four years that have been weighing me down. When I had my first child I was twenty years old. I was 98 pounds pre pregnancy, and 108 pounds post. Second pregnancy I was 25 yrs old and weighed 115 pounds after delivery. Third pregnancy I was 28 yrs old, and weighed 120 after pregnancy. Fourth pregnancy I was 35 years old and weighed 140 pounds after pregnancy. Ouch! All of a sudden, I had a pouch stomach that wasn’t going away. I know it’s a correlation between age and metabolism changing. I recognize that since I was older with my fourth pregnancy, the weight didn’t fall off like it did with the others. But in my mind, I still see myself as this skinny girl:
Trust me, I am not hung up on the magazine or video girl image, I just simply want to COMFORTABLY fit into my clothes not squeeze into them. I’m not the exercise or the diet type. But I am going to become that type, because this isn’t working for me. I’m just saying. To thine own self be true. And this is my truth.
I’m not talking about no strict, no carbs, no this, no that type of diet. And I’m not starving or depriving myself either. I am speaking of a lifestyle change as it relates to my eating habits. Every now and then, I might want a piece of chocolate, and I am surely going to have it. I just won’t be a glutton about it. As a matter of fact, I have a box of Mike n Ikes in my cabinet at work, and I am so giving them away, because I will eat the whole darn box. Starting tonight, I am going to begin to prepare my lunch like I use to. I’m going to keep a food journal so I can be accountable to myself. I am going to look into line dancing and zumba classes at my church. Maybe put an extra 10 mins into my downtown stroll in the mornings. Yea, I have a plan. Baby steps, but making an effort. And if I mess up, I will just begin again the next day. I know I said a mouthful, but I had to take a look at me and go in on myself this morning. So now that it’s been put in the universe, it shall be. Change is coming. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. How bout you? Anything you would like to change about yourself? It may not be your weight, it may be your job, or attitude, or you’re thinking. Anything. Take a step and challenge yourself to change something in your life that is making you unhappy. Don’t tell yourself that you can’t because you can. Don’t let the enemy plant fear or self doubt in you.
My pastor said yesterday during his sermon that one of the best discoveries that we can learn is that the devil is a liar! So challenge yourself, on your own terms and make a change in your life if you want to. I certainly believe in you, God believes in you, but do you believe in you? I was watching Oprah’s life class and she said, “You are responsible for yourself and you have the power to change your own life. But you must believe it”. As always I wish only for everyone to have a blessed and productive day and an awesome week.
Peace and blessings!
I am wearing:
Gray/blue checkered dress- Target
My go to yellow Blazer (you’ve seen this blazer before) – thrifted
Yellow tights- Target
Belt- Arden B
Necklace – Lori’s
Bracelets, earrings- forever21
Watch- urban outfitters (daughters)
( I really need to work on my facial
expressions. I look mad, almost like I’m about to beat the crap out of somebody. The sun was shinning in my face, and I was a little upset about my clothes fitting a little snug, so forgive me.lol..)