It seems that my time has been limited lately. My kids have had holiday things going on in school, and I have been here, there and everywhere. I have a few things to cover, so I may be a little scattered in my post, please forgive me, also, brace yourself, I have a few life lessons to get off my chest.
For starters, I kind of had a fabulous weekend. I was invited to a masquerade ball on Saturday and had only one day to prepare for it. YIKES! Another friend asked me to go with her to the same event as a pre birthday celebration for her. I thought, two different people invite me to the same event, hmmmm this must be the place to be. The flip side is that I had never been to a masquerade ball before and didn’t have the first clue on what to wear. I knew it was an all black affair, so that made it a lot easier. I mean really, how can you go wrong wearing black. After searching for hours high and low all over the city for a mask, I gave up and caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen in ions. It was great sharing some good laughs and life talk over dinner. The next day I still couldn’t find a mask. Not even at party city. I decided, I was just gonna have to make a mask. My search took me to Joanne fabrics and I ended up buying some sequins, feathers, and having my fifteen year old daughter decorate it for me. I think she did and excellent job.
I had a blast at the annual Historical and Black College and University Alumni and friends christmas Masquerade. The cause is noteworthy and the ball was enjoyable and loads of fun.
One thing I’m learning these last few weeks of 2011 is that a shift is definately taking place in my life. So many areas of me are steadily evolving, my faithwalk is stronger, and I see change. Sometimes we have to let go of certain people or things so that we can move forward. If a relationship becomes toxic, it’s undoubtedly time for it to come to a close. Sometimes, the break hurts, and shocks your soul, but it is still necessary. You shouldnt have to fall victim of anyone elses jealously, insecurities, or issues. I am far from perfect, nor am I everyones cup of tea, but one thing I know how to be is a friend. There isn’t a day that’s gone by where a friend reached out to me, and I didnt make myself accessible. I like being the one a person can depend on without fear of rejection, judgement, critisim, or chastisement. I would never, ever kick a person when they are already down, and if you are around anyone who behaves in this way, run away as fast as you can. I can’t go to far into this thing, but I really want to share the lesson. I had a huge argument with a friend after I was basically attacked for reasons I will never completely understand. This person attacked my character, and did it in a way that was dark, purposeful, mean, and hurtful. It did not come from a place of love. It was not a disagreement, it was an attack. The part that shocked me more than anything was my reaction. Instead if recognizing the person I was dealing with, I fell right into the mix. I said things that I know were mean and hurtful and yes, that was my goal. Tick for tack mentality. I allowed my anger to take the lead, and the sane rational me took a back seat. Afterwards, I felt like such a fool. I was extremely remorseful. I had allowed someones opinion of me, drive me to the point of being just like that person. I was so focused on finally letting her have it, that I lost the person I’d been working so hard to be. That cursing, spit fire tounge, disreguarding peoples feelings is the hurt little girl I use to be. In a split second, I allowed myself to be taken back to that person. Misery loves company, and I went and sat down right on her couch! I sought forgiveness because that was not acceptable behavior for the christian lifestyle I am living. If I have to fight attack, it should be with the word, and I failed. It just reminded me that, I still have so much work to do. Never let a person tell you who you are, nor dictate who you’ll become. I didn’t have to act the way she did, I could have just ignored her. Thank God I wasn’t in her face, because she would have got punched. That’s how upset I was. I mean, I’m just keeping it real. I’m not perfect, but I’m striving to be all that God wants me to be. I’ve learned to seek forgiveness and to forgive myself. Never harbor ill feelings, or the hurts of your past. I’ve learned to let go, let God. I will always love my friend, but I have to let go, let God.
This ain’t no pity party, and I’m not going to cry a river. Your girl here is still learning to be a woman of standard. I know who I am, and how low of me to let someone else try and tell me any different. I am not forgotten because God knows my name!
Sorry for the life rant, I know this is suppose to be a fashion blog. Ha! I’m sorry, but I can’t be put into a box, my branches are many. And I have to speak my heart, and so it is. I think you guys understand.
On to better news. My daughter did great on her finals and actually made the Dean’s List this semester. I am a proud Momma. She managed to do this while working two jobs, getting minimal sleep, and being nagged to death constantly by me. I praised God, for the good things he has done for me and my children. Even if the cards are stacked against you, God can still bring you out on top.
Peace and Blessings,
Today I’m wearing
Top- New York (paid $2)
Belt- Arden B