The Rants of Life

Hello Dears,
It seems that my time has been limited lately. My kids have had holiday things going on in school, and I have been here, there and everywhere. I have a few things to cover, so I may be a little scattered in my post, please forgive me, also, brace yourself, I have a few life lessons to get off my chest.

For starters, I kind of had a fabulous weekend. I was invited to a masquerade ball on Saturday and had only one day to prepare for it. YIKES! Another friend asked me to go with her to the same event as a pre birthday celebration for her. I thought, two different people invite me to the same event, hmmmm this must be the place to be. The flip side is that I had never been to a masquerade ball before and didn’t have the first clue on what to wear. I knew it was an all black affair, so that made it a lot easier. I mean really, how can you go wrong wearing black. After searching for hours high and low all over the city for a mask, I gave up and caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen in ions. It was great sharing some good laughs and life talk over dinner. The next day I still couldn’t find a mask. Not even at party city. I decided, I was just gonna have to make a mask. My search took me to Joanne fabrics and I ended up buying some sequins, feathers, and having my fifteen year old daughter decorate it for me. I think she did and excellent job.

20111220-213521.jpg
Here’s what I wore
Dress-White House/Black Market
Tights- Target
Booties- Barefeet
Clutch- Burlington
Necklace- mom’s
Rings/Bracelets- thrifted

20111220-213758.jpg

20111220-213810.jpg

20111220-213818.jpg

20111220-213826.jpg

20111220-213836.jpg

20111220-213910.jpg

20111220-213925.jpg

I had a blast at the annual Historical and Black College and University Alumni and friends christmas Masquerade. The cause is noteworthy and the ball was enjoyable and loads of fun.

One thing I’m learning these last few weeks of 2011 is that a shift is definately taking place in my life. So many areas of me are steadily evolving, my faithwalk is stronger, and I see change. Sometimes we have to let go of certain people or things so that we can move forward. If a relationship becomes toxic, it’s undoubtedly time for it to come to a close. Sometimes, the break hurts, and shocks your soul, but it is still necessary. You shouldnt have to fall victim of anyone elses jealously, insecurities, or issues. I am far from perfect, nor am I everyones cup of tea, but one thing I know how to be is a friend. There isn’t a day that’s gone by where a friend reached out to me, and I didnt make myself accessible. I like being the one a person can depend on without fear of rejection, judgement, critisim, or chastisement. I would never, ever kick a person when they are already down, and if you are around anyone who behaves in this way, run away as fast as you can. I can’t go to far into this thing, but I really want to share the lesson. I had a huge argument with a friend after I was basically attacked for reasons I will never completely understand. This person attacked my character, and did it in a way that was dark, purposeful, mean, and hurtful. It did not come from a place of love. It was not a disagreement, it was an attack. The part that shocked me more than anything was my reaction. Instead if recognizing the person I was dealing with, I fell right into the mix. I said things that I know were mean and hurtful and yes, that was my goal. Tick for tack mentality. I allowed my anger to take the lead, and the sane rational me took a back seat. Afterwards, I felt like such a fool. I was extremely remorseful. I had allowed someones opinion of me, drive me to the point of being just like that person. I was so focused on finally letting her have it, that I lost the person I’d been working so hard to be. That cursing, spit fire tounge, disreguarding peoples feelings is the hurt little girl I use to be. In a split second, I allowed myself to be taken back to that person. Misery loves company, and I went and sat down right on her couch! I sought forgiveness because that was not acceptable behavior for the christian lifestyle I am living. If I have to fight attack, it should be with the word, and I failed. It just reminded me that, I still have so much work to do. Never let a person tell you who you are, nor dictate who you’ll become. I didn’t have to act the way she did, I could have just ignored her. Thank God I wasn’t in her face, because she would have got punched. That’s how upset I was. I mean, I’m just keeping it real. I’m not perfect, but I’m striving to be all that God wants me to be. I’ve learned to seek forgiveness and to forgive myself. Never harbor ill feelings, or the hurts of your past. I’ve learned to let go, let God. I will always love my friend, but I have to let go, let God.

This ain’t no pity party, and I’m not going to cry a river. Your girl here is still learning to be a woman of standard. I know who I am, and how low of me to let someone else try and tell me any different. I am not forgotten because God knows my name!

Sorry for the life rant, I know this is suppose to be a fashion blog. Ha! I’m sorry, but I can’t be put into a box, my branches are many. And I have to speak my heart, and so it is. I think you guys understand.

On to better news. My daughter did great on her finals and actually made the Dean’s List this semester. I am a proud Momma. She managed to do this while working two jobs, getting minimal sleep, and being nagged to death constantly by me. I praised God, for the good things he has done for me and my children. Even if the cards are stacked against you, God can still bring you out on top.

Peace and Blessings,
Dee

Today I’m wearing
Top- New York (paid $2)
Belt- Arden B
Blazer- Thrifted
Slacks- Thrifted
Shoes- Barefeet
Necklace- Lori’s
Sunnies- D&G

20111220-214729.jpg

20111220-214746.jpg

20111220-214757.jpg

Advertisements
11 comments
  1. julia Williams said:

    Well,we all have to VENT every now and then. Good article. Dress was Beautiful.

    • Yea we do, and I sure have vented. Thanks for listening. And I do love the dress! Thx!

  2. Rita Ross said:

    Hi DeLisa, it’s ur cousin…just wanted to say thank you for keeping it real with your readers. None of us are perfect saints, God is working on us all. The outfit and the dress were both excellent choices (I love them) and tell your daughter great job on the mask. God bless.

    • Hey Rita.. I’m glad you stopped by. I am a work in progress and I’m not going to keep beating myself up over my behavior. The part I’m most proud of is I’m woman enough to admit a mistake, apologize, seek forgiveness from God, and try to never repeat this type of thing again. Thx for the compliment on the outfits! Much love

  3. Miss Dre said:

    Wow, Dee! I had such a long response for this, but I decided I had better condense it. First off, let me say you look great at the masquerade ball and today’s outfit is fab! Snap for the kids! 😉

    Secondly, I feel we all have the right to vent on our blogs if we so desire. We never know when sharing may help someone else who is going through the same thing. Your share spoke volumes to me because I went through a similar situation a few years back. I had a disagreement with someone I once called my “best friend” and a series of miscommunications ushered in the close of our friendship.

    Like you, I am the true-blue friend. I’m the one everyone comes to because they know I will not pass judgment or reveal their secrets. But for various reasons I won’t go into, my best friend and I were growing further and further apart. I don’t know if it was jealousy, insecurity, or if I had done something to her without knowing I had done so. Either way, in our last disagreement, she decides to tell me everything she did not like about me– a list that had accumulated over 5 years. 5 years worth of information that she had never shared until she was so upset she wanted to tear me down. It hurt me bad, and still hurts to this day. But now I realize that was God’s way of helping me grow tougher skin and teaching me to pick my friends more carefully.

    What’s crazy is I’m going through a similar situation right now with a couple of my in-laws I thought were my friends. And the drama impedes.

    All I know to tell you is that everything gets better in time and some people just have to be cut loose. I watched this woman tear me down on a social network for two weeks before it finally clicked for me. I am not doing a bad thing by letting a bad friendship go. I am not the bad guy because I decide to be the better person and dissociate myself from someone and their non-stop drama. I harbor no ill will, but I can no longer be a part of the madness. Like you, I want to be a woman of standard and I can’t have anything hindering me from that!

    Sorry I ranted all over your rant, sis. Thank you for sharing your story! It helped me realize I am not the only one going through this and will not be the last!


    Dre

    • Hey Drea,
      I don’t mind your “rant all over my rant” as you put it at all… LOL. You needed to get freedom from your feelings on the issue and I’m glad you were able to do that here. It actually helped me because I know I am not the only person who has had hurt in the form of friendship. Kudos to you for deciding what needed to be done and thank you so much for reading my story, which is really my heart. I totally felt your feelings through your reply.  Again, this speaks volumes about you. The thing about my situation was not to bash or bad mouth the other party, but to bring light to the fact that I had some bad behavior I wanted to change about myself too, like how I responded to her being mad, angry, fussing, and cussing, the whole 9. I do thank God though for pulling covers, because if a friend is not your ultimate support, what’s the point?
      Thx again Dre- for your comments! I appreciate your honesty.
      Dee

  4. Mary Conyers said:

    Hey Sweetie, it happen sometimes, but remember you, me and others are still growing in the word of God. I always say “I save but not safe”. When we go off like that, that let us know that God is not through working on us yet. The good news is you repented and you let it go and move on. You look so beautiful in your dress. So glad you enjoyed yourself.

    Aunt Mary

    • Awwww Thanks Aunt Mary.. Always a good encouraging word from you! 🙂

  5. Nicole Elmore said:

    First so Happy for your daughter, You are such a GREAT MOM,and it shows thru the fruit of your womb. I love your outfits.Looking Fab as always.

    Thank You for venting, because it blessed me. I went thru something similar to what you experienced. I cried on the inside, because I felt so humilated, embarassed. I has so many emotions running thru me. When I got home. I let my kids in the house,then I came back outside in my car and just cried. I didnt have any words, but I feel my tears represented to God how I was feeling. I told God that I really wanted to fight (lol) The most hurtful part was that my kids(My daughters to witnessed this siutation. The whole entire time they kept their eyes on me. I stayed strong because I knew my actions would affect them. On our ride home my 17 year old daughter said “Mommy you handle yourself like a true woman inspite the fact I knew you were hurting. My heart just cried, because I think some people are just hurtful. I think some people like seeing others hurt. I love when you said when a relationship/situation is toxic, just run away as fast as you can. your words are so inspiring. I love reading your blogs, because I can sense the love and peace here. I can sense the realness of who you are. I love coming here, because this is my comfront zone to share my heart, my feelings and who I am. Thank you for venting, because it made me comfortable to write what I had experienced. Love and Blessings to you

    • Awww.. Thanks Nic!
      See, you never know what another person is going through until you put yourself out there. And Im glad i did. I’m glad you feel comfort in coming here. My prayer is that you and others are able to come here and vent, laugh, cry, and get tips on challenging things we all face. Especially being a single parent. Much love to you! Thanks for reading and for your wonderful comments!

  6. Jen said:

    just stumbled upon your blog and I love it. I love your positivity and your realness. Keep up the great work!

    Jen
    commecoco.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: