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Monthly Archives: January 2014

I checked my text messages and it read:
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Sometimes these walls seem to cave in on me but when I look in your eyes, I feel alive. Some days we say words that don’t mean a thing, but when you’re holding me tight, I feel alive”

Blue obviously has an undistinguishable language that
even her mother Beyonce cannot always understand, but the heart understands it as love and somehow that makes it alright. Beyonce professed this, as well as her love in the newly released song, Blue feat. Blue Ivy Carter. Clearly, mom loves her daughter. I don’t know the Carters’ but, the love seems pretty apparent to me. However, common angst amongst the viewing public, mainly the watchful, hating our naturally nappy hair, eye of the black woman suggest that because Blue’s hair is unkempt,  uncombed, or missing barrets, bows or hair ties, her mother must not love her. Her mother must not care,  some even have gone as far to call it neglect. Comeon people. Neglect?
Really?
Some of you are reaching a bit far with that. Don’t cha think.

Mommy obviously isn’t bothered by Blue’s natural hair doing whatever it chooses to do and baby doesn’t mind either.  The nerve of some women. Projecting their own self image issues on to Blue’s hair. Why do you care? Why is it bothering you? What, you know them?

I was on instagram and someone posted a picture of baby Blue’s hair.  All kinds of slander and hate was up under that post. And then, out of nowhere, the #beyhive buzzed into action. Y’all do know about the Beyhive right? Well its basically Beyoncés social networking mafia. I’m not a member,  and I haven’t quite figured out how they always swarm into action at precisely the right time.  What I do know is this, whoever posted the picture of Blue’s hair is no longer on instagram. Case closed.

You won’t find the picture, or any other picture of Blue’s hair in this here post. If  you’d fancy yourself on seeing it, try google. Flatout, I ain’t the one. Case closed.

I’m not going as far as to have debates about the baby’ hair. As I’ve said before, I don’t know the Carters and I really don’t care. I think Blue is a beautiful baby and her natural hair should be celebrated. I do wonder though, how Beyoncé must feel. Even if you have the thickest skin,  it’s hurtful. As a mother, I will fade to black about one of mines in 0.0 seconds. You don’t come for people’s kids like that. I will go off about mines. Case closed.

The bottom is this, Blue is just a baby. She is not your child, and her hair being “unkempt” as you call it, is her mother’s choice. Now if you want to sound off about something concerning children, why not sound off about these babies making these twerk videos. Nasty! Oh, but y’all think that’s cute though. Em hmm.

My daughter showed me a video uploaded to Vine for the world to see, and this baby, who couldnt have been any older than two, was obviously taught to curse. Yelling out profanity better than any sailor I ever heard of. Why can’t these same group of women get disgusted by that. Instead, we ignore the twerk videos, the cursing baby videos and we put our attention on an innocent babies natural hair. I mean really. Wake up people. We have to do better.

Peace and love
Dee

“Just because I’m single, that doesn’t mean I’m desperate”

I speak to myself in soothing tones, “They really don’t mean to be annoying to your soul. Right? Family, friends, coworkers, the receptionists at your doctor’s office, they couldn’t possibly mean to irk your nerves when they play the cupid magic wand game”. Right?

This is my confession:
It’s a fact, I’m a single lady. I haven’t met “the one” yet. I use the word, YET with great optimism. I do plan to marry, and yes, being single does frustrate me at times, but I’ve mentioned in previous post that I have standards and have chosen to wait for a particular guy minus wasting my precious little time chile. I’m just saying.

Its jarring to me, that being single somehow equates to desperation. Allow me to explain because folks be trying me.

No, I don’t want to be fixed up with your cousin Jethro, your brother Melvin, your father in law Rufus, or your next door neighbor Wallace. These people never stop waving the wand, and somehow get offended when you tell them you aren’t interested. It has to be something more than the fact that you think he’d make a great guy for me or that I should meet him just because I’m single. No thanks. I don’t need your help. I’m good. And trust, your girl can turn heads. My life is pretty full, it’s almost always occupied, and busy. Plus, did it ever occur to them that I’m happy? When love comes, and trust me, it will, just as it has before. But when love calls there won’t be anything that can keep us apart, and we won’t need your cupid wand of approval.

Now, If you are the type that whines all the time about being single, or to ask friends and family to help you secure a significant other, then this post isn’t for you. But..If you feel like me, then I feel for you. And if you are reading this and find yourself being guilty of this offense, shame on you. (Smile) Leave your single friends alone.

Sure, I’m single, but I’m not desperate.

Peace and blessings,
Dee

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“Seasoned bloggers aren’t always the friendliest group of people. And let me just say, I found out the hard way”

I love exploring the blogger community within WordPress and beyond. A key component to being a good writer is to read as much as you write. I also believe inspiration can be drawn from anywhere. I’ve followed five new blogs as instructed in today’s Zero to Hero challenge. I connect with these readers and I invite others to read and possibly connect with them as well.
Goodness Graciousness
mentalnotes1
WordPress News (for obvious reasons)
Booksandsandwiches
Giorge Thomas

These are all great blogs to read, no matter if it’s a new or seasoned blog, it’s worthy of a read and a follow in my book.

One of the things I remember when I first started blogging is that, fellow bloggers weren’t as friendly to me as I thought they should be. Seasoned bloggers aren’t always the friendliest group of people and I found out the hard way. I would comment on post and ask questions and never get a response. I would follow other blogs genuinely interested in them. Not only weren’t they following my blog, but I doubt they even checked it out.  I was so lost and asking advice and certain individuals just weren’t willing. Following my blog is not a requirement, but atleast be kind and thoughtful enough to answer a question or reply back with something. I am so thankful for the few bloggers that embraced me and really showed me love, advice and encouragement during that time. I would also like to include a link to those bloggers below as they were instrumental in my blogging experience. 

So She Writes
Minister of Style
PoutPerfection
Spoon full of Sugar
Swoon

Be sure to check out the blogs mentioned and any others you may find on your blogging journey. I have a nice neighborhood now, and it’s growing into a pretty good community.

Peace and love,
Dee

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It seems ironic that my blog challenge would be about the very thing I’ve been struggling with for quite sometime.

When I first started this blog, I had no idea the direction I would take. What I knew for certain was that I wanted to write. As I looked at other blogs and began to follow them, I discovered similarities in our interest in terms of fashion, shopping, and beauty. And since they were all writing about it, I thought I should too. It was thrilling at first, and the feedback was phenomenal. But then, it become a bit intimidating with the photo taking. I’m a simple girl as it relates to technology. Although my pictures weren’t blurry, or bad, they also weren’t taken with professional equipment. The quality of the pictures mattered some, but not enough to make me run out to buy expensive equipment that other bloggers deemed almost as a staple. Chile, I was just as happy snapping it up with my camera phone. That went on for a while, and then I noticed, a shift was taking place. It was more writing, and less picture taking. I’m a writer, not a photographer so it makes since. Then, life happened. I was busy doing life stuff and the blog mattered less. I couldn’t figure out why since writing was after-all, my first love and it was that love that led me to blogging. Writing the blog gave me a way to express myself more openly and honestly and that was cathartic for me in a way. In my first year of blogging 2011, I had about thirty-seven written and published post. In 2012 it was twenty-seven. Not bad, and I felt quite accomplished. Last year I blogged a whopping six times. Pick up your lip, you heard correct—-SIX TIMES. (wowzers, pathetic).

Immediately,  I identified this as a problem. I knew the blog was there, but I ignored it like an overdue bill that I didn’t have the money to pay. It was something that was keeping me from blogging other than time management. And recently, I figured it out. The title of my blog. “Cheap and Fabulous Mom on a Nickel”. I picked the name. And yet, I hated it. The part that bothered me most was the word “Cheap”. It seems completely psychotic to me that I hated it so much, yet it was what I chose. Totally insane right? What was I thinking? Calling myself cheap. That spoke volumes to me. Surely, I could have found other words to describe my bargain shopping, and my gift for catching a deal. So why did I settle on that. Hell no, I’m not cheap. I can’t identify with that. That name began to haunt me. I sensed signals being sent out to the universe,—She’s cheap, she’s cheap. Oh no, pump the brakes. It’s time for a change. So, today I stand in my truth and openly admit that I subconsciously hated the blog because of the name. It is not a representation of my authentic self, so I stopped associating with it. Bingo! There, I said it. Something so simple, yet it kept me away. I’ve decided, I have to change the blog name. I don’t know if it will hinder anything because at this point of not blogging for so long, the audience I began to build, drifted away. That settles it, I’m starting over. The name must change. Now I feel free in continuing to reveal “who that girl” is. I’m a mother, a writer, a poet, and in many ways, an activist.

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photo by: MichaelLawson

I’m passionate, deep thinking, loving, no nonsense, sensitive, difficult, transparent, complicated, yet easy to please. I’m fashionable, hip, reserved, quiet, introverted, spiritual, inquisitive, and so much more. Actually I’m so many things, its hard to pinpoint definitively, “who that girl” is. And I’m ok with that. Frankly, the blog is about me and my journey and the ways it may connect with someone else’s journey. I’ve seen alot, I’ve done alot. Some I’m proud of, and some not so much. But it is my hope that I gain freedom in telling a little bit more of my story, and if its moment by moment, or week to week, or even month to month, I’m hoping someone will come along and travel with me on this journey. Maybe you can help me, perhaps I can help you. Just know, it’s all love, it’s all me, and I do it first with the love of Christ and the ambition to help others with my truth.

Signed,
Whose that girl—–
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— the blogger formally known as *insert sigh* Cheap fab Mom is now DeeJourney of a fab writing Mom *insert giggles*