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Ok! Get ready for my last rant of the year. It may be TMI for some, and if it is, I dont apologize, because this is really an issue and I need to sound off.

Firstoff, I realize its been almost a year since my last blog post (I can’t even begin to explain why at this moment).
In what is my first blog post in nearly a year, not to blog about fashion,thrifting, shopping or anything like that. What brings me here is something that isn’t new under the sun, something that has been around since women have been women, and something that has consumed my life since the age of 14. Oh yes reader, women in particular, this “thing” I speak of, that has brought me back to my blog to sound off after nearly a year is my monthly cycle.

Since it’s very existence in my life this thing has literally been a pain to me in more ways than one. From the fevers,to the vomiting, to the back pain, to the earth shattering cramps,and not being able to function, this thing has always shown up and showed out. I’ve had jobs jeopardized, I’ve had very important life events that I’ve had to miss all because of this thing. Nevermind the painkillers, which by the way don’t work for me anyhow. Nevermind the home remedies, the herbal teas, the birth control pills, the heating pads, nevermind it all as none of this has truly helped me in this quest to make this monthly painfest end. The only comfort I feel is when the cycle ends. Ain’t that a blip? I can literally feel my insides doing a violent dance for seven whole days. Boi, that’s a helluva dance! I can truly feel every fiber of ovulation as well as my eggs dropping into position I want to scream at this thing, “Sucker, I have 4 kids you can keep your aches, your eggs, and your ovulation because I don’t need you anymore. Cycle, monthly, mensuration, mother nature, unwanted guest, I don’t need you anymore—- go away. I have earned my stripes, I have slothed off the years and tears and shedding enough for 45 thousand lifetimes. AND today, I’m mad as hell. Its new years eve, and I always spend new years eve in church and this, is nothing new, it’s what I do every year. But as always you show up at the wrong time. And I will instead spend my New Years Eve shaking in pain, damn near overdosing on motrin, rocking back and forth, and moaning in agony over the first day of my cycle. You woke me up bright and early this morning, I mean you came in with a bang and already this pain is too much to bear. I’m so sick of you, and I don’t want you anymore. Your purpose has been served. If I had a dollar for every time you’ve done this to me, shown up and showed out, I’d be on the cover of Forbes magazine rich beyond belief. but you don’t give dollars, you only give excruciating pain, and make me weak until I’m dizzy from anemia, blood count always on the low. And even more, you make me mean! You have messed up Egyptian cotton sheets, and more panties than one can own in a lifetime. And the only option which really ain’t the option I want to rid myself of thee is a Hysterectomy? Chile, you are something else. In all the misery you’ve caused me, you are consistent, even I will give you that. First thing in the morning with this pain though, really? Oh well, all this ranting aint gonna change a damn thing. So, I guess I’ll stop whining now, good morning heartache, sit down”.

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Hello Dears.
Happy Monday. Time to grind, make the donuts, punch that clock, how ever you want to say it, we all have to get it done. Even the stay at home mom’s who I envy and then again I don’t. That gig is hard work day and night.
Speaking of the kids.. Excuse me while I transform, hear me out, I feel like Tina Turner- “oohhhhh, I got something on my mind, won’t somebody please, please tell me what’s wrong”..Moment over, back to Dee. Is it just me, or is anybody else afraid for their children the way I am afraid for mines? The world is getting so crazy, and although I’d love to, I can’t keep them wrapped in a bubble. I cringe for them all but am most frightened for five as she is the youngest. I can’t help but see. I look around and the chilen’ runnin’ round yonder with the clothes sagging down and the bloomers showing. Speaking enough atrocities and profanities to make your ears bleed. I’m like, “can they see me”? It’s just like I’m not there. If I ever hear of my kids behaving to the degree of some kids I see daily, they are getting delt a can of honey let me tell you something with the quickness. Um hm, you do the math. I cannot handle that blatant disrespect. Can somebody please tell me what’s wrong. And then, the drugs. It’s always something new, more potent, designer chemist crap. Now they taking about bath salts which I had never heard of. People turning into zombies and eating folk, and I just can’t. Just when you think you’ve heard the worst, here comes something to blow your mind. They say it was possibly the drugs, I say demon possessed. Moving right along, it’s just so much to think about, protect from, be fearful of and so forth. Well, this mess ain’t going to drive me up a wall. I know I’m not omnipresent, but I sure know who is. Mom’s we have to cast our cares upon the Lord. Maybe I’m a bit of a worry wart. But isnt everyone when it comes to their kids? At the same time, I know I can’t let it consume me. All I can do, is keep my babies, and my family in prayer and trust in the precious hand of God. For me, there is no other way.

And I am so praying that these chilen’ keep they’re pants up, and atleast they bloomers clean. I don’t want to see that mess. Chile, please…

Now that I’ve had my ranting Momsession, my plan was to post my OOTD. I was so sleepy, still tired, and I didn’t plan an outfit last night and to top it off, I was pressed for time. Hence, there is no picture. Haha. Well there can be, I will update my post later with outfit pics. How bout that!

Until later- Peace and Blessings
Dee

Hello Dears,

When we last left off I was catching you up on the happenings of me. And then I got all carried away in Olivia Pople mania. Ha! My post have been sporadic so I just wanted to clarify. About the financial liberation piece, I have been so focused on this thing that I didn’t think about blogging. Like usher said, I was caught up! To tell you the truth, (*clears throat*) some blogs I purposely stayed away from for fear of relapsing, tempted to go out and make purchases. I had to change people, places, and things. Lol…

True story.

Now I’m thinking, If i’m not blogging about shopping and thrifting then what? Time to strategize. You all know that while I was taking pictures and posting my daily outfits, that my blog is more geared towards those who don’t have a problem reading because above all else, I am a writer. I get that some folks just want to see some pretty pictures, cute outfits, gain some inspiration, read a few lines and dip out. And that’s totally fine but then, my blog ain’t for them because I writes.

So while I’m going to be getting back into the swing of blogging, over the next few weeks my blog may be a little different. I never wanted to define it anyway, and I think I’ve proven that I’m not one dimensional. You will continue to get inspirational pep talks, life lessons, rants and a few outfit post here and there. Expect also to see topics ranging from haircare, to savings plans, to health and beauty and wherever else my mind takes me.

Just promise me, you’ll stick around for the ride. Pretty soon I’ll be posting so much, I’ll be known as a serial blogger. Ok, maybe not, but you get my drift.

As promised, for anyone who is interested in the links to the sites I was telling you about reguarding financial planning, a good way to get started is by checking out Joe Sangl’s book. To order go here.

You can download the IWBNIM app on your iphone by visiting apple.com in the app store. I’m pretty sure they have the app in the android market as well.

You can also follow Joe Sangl on twitter

Be sure to visit Joe’s personal website to get started with a host of resources including a webinar series, weekly podcast, tips on saving money right away and a host of other things.

Thanks again for all of your concerns and for sticking with me through my involuntary, but necessary hiatus. There is no way I have covered the last two months and at this point, I’m just ready to move on. I’m back!

I haven’t been taking OTD pics at all.. Here’s one I took a few weeks back before I got my hair press and curled. Oh my goodness, that’s something else I’ll have to post about, the never ending hair journey. I’m never satisfied. The weave that I was suppose to keep for three months, I only kept for a month and a half. When I took it out, I started having fantasies of creamy cracked out hair. I got a press and I was good again. Don’t pay me no mind, I’m half crazy.

I thought this outfit was cute, my kids didn’t think so though, they told me the dress was too short and since they went through all kinds of strokes and breakdowns about it, I kept it on long enough to take a few pics, and shazam, this outfit never saw the light of day. Cute though.

I’m wearing:

Dress- Wet Seal (i think)

Cardigan- H&M

Necklace-Shoppers World

Bracelets- F21

Shoes- Avon three years ago

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Time to end this post foreal. One last thing, it’s almost Thursday. You know what that means correct? The final Scandal episode. Mmmm, I can’t wait. Maybe I’ll wear Olivia Pope inspired looks for the rest of the week until the show down. Great idea! Check back tomorrow to see what I come up with by shopping my closet.

Peace and Blessings,

Dee

xoxox

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I’ve decided, I’ll have to share this story in parts instead of one long post. It’s long, and I don’t want you to start yawning. Excuse the length, but I don’t want to spare any detail. It’s high time I share the happenings of Dee (like you care) lol..

Part of the problem is that I honestly don’t know where to start. It’s been so long. I’ve even neglected regular entries into my own personal journal and that is so unlike me. Formost, I am fine. Better than fine. I’m great. I’ve had a two month long personal inventory so to speak. My soul started stirring sometime back in Febuary when I started attending an 8 week long intensive on financial liberation at my church. Who doesn’t discuss or go through things financially. With today’s economy, please. It’s what we discuss. But yet, we are still spending. I know I amwas.

I’m your classic spender, far from a saver and, I didn’t need a class to tell me that. I did however need the class to make me face the fact that if I continued on “spending” the way I was that my children were going to be on the welfare line, literally. It’s so much deeper than I’m sure I can even describe, but during my attendance in the class, reading, studying and budgeting (I hate the word budget) something happened inside of me. God started dealing with me. I was challenged and stretched in ways I never could imagine, and in the end, I gained FREEDOM. My pastor really is a visionary. Several months ago he started preaching a series on faith and family finances. It was so intense, I saw myself in every sermon and I just knew he was talking directly to me! That series was the jump off for the class I attended titled, “I was broke, now I’m not”. Babyyy, let me tell you, it changed my life. The creator of the program, Joe Sangl is serious about debt and financial freedom. He has books, a web based program, lecture series, and a host of tools to get you started on the road to gaining control of your finances. You can look up the course online it’s called, “I was broke,now I’m not”.

The class didn’t cost me anything. Not a dime. Well, I paid $15 for the book, and $5 for the workbook. With what I gained, that was nothing. I started thinking about all those receipts sitting in that plastic container I keep, thinking about all the ways I had totally misused my money. A savings plan, forget about it. I heard a few say they have no problem saving. And I think that’s great. But for me.. Yeah, I have a savings account, one that I put money into and probably just take it out within the next few weeks. That’s not saving. But that’s how I’ve been rolling. I am not ashamed to talk about it, I don’t care who talks about it or what they think of me for discussing it. I’m trying to help somebody else get free. Savings and spending were interchangeable for me. I didn’t understand how I had gotten to this place, and I surely didn’t know I had a problem. You know it’s one of those things, you know about it, it’s there, it exist, but when it’s placed in your lap and it’s just you in the room and your forced to look at it, all of a sudden a light bulb goes off. Oh wow, is this what I’ve been doing? Ohhhh I’ve been messing up, disrespecting my money and my future. It took a while to get me to this point(debt) and it was going to take radical change to get me out. Admitting it was the first step. For the first time in my life, I started thinking about being free in my finances. I decided I wasn’t going to spend anymore for a while. No more shopping. No more useless spending. No dining out, only necessities. A financial fast. It killed me!!!!! Ok, here goes. I am a bit of a shopaholic and a spendaholic. There, I said it.
It was time for a change and day by day it became easier to stop spending, and more worth it. I was reading, studying, and saving. While the fasting part wasn’t a requirement, it taught me discipline. I learned things I never knew about me and money. Mainly how much I waste.
I gained so much from taking this class. The lessons are practical and can very effective if used properly. I never had a budget in my life, until now! I’ve justified my outrages spending by catching sales. As much as I spend, it just never dawned on me to save. I’ve been living in the moment.
At graduation, I humbly accepted my certificate of completion. I couldn’t believe how far I’d come. I couldn’t believe how much I’d accomplished. I cried and cried and cried tears of joy. Tears of freedom. The experience was one I’ll never forget.

(check back tomorrow for part 2 and links to some of the tools I used)

Peace and Blessings
Dee

I am furious. I have to delay my other post because this issue is rising in me and I need to vent. Now you tell me. When you send your baby to preschool, do you expect that they will be unmonitored to the point of picking an open container up off the playground and drinking from it? Go ahead, gag a moment as I surely did when I got the phone call this afternoon from five’s school. It was not just that it happened but the whole scenario from top to finish. Let me replay this conversation for you.

Teacher: Mom I was just calling to let you know that J is sitting in the office because she drank a juice.

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.

Teacher: she drank a juice and now she is sitting in the office and she wasn’t the only one, it was four other kids that drank the juice.

Me: I’m sorry but I’m not understanding what your telling me. Where did the “juice” come from.

Teacher: It was outside on the ground and I was cleaning up the playground and when I turned around the kids were drinking the juice.

Me: you are telling me that my child drank an open container of God knows what while you were suppose to be watching her on the playground?

Teacher: yes but I was cleaning up on the playground and she is fine and I told her that she can’t eat anything off the ground.

Me: Put my daughter on the phone NOW!!

I spoke to my child. She was crying a little thinking that she would get into trouble. I asked her what happened and she gave me more information than the stupid teacher that tried, unsuccessfully I might add to downplay the matter. Apparently it was a soda bottle, assumed to be lemonade. The kids found it, and they all took a sip. Ok, that was all I needed to know. Put the teacher back on.

Me: what were you doing while my child was drinking that filth?

Teacher: I was cleaning up but u know it was a lot of trash out there and it was juice in the bottle. I smelled it.
(this is when I faded to black)
Me: Are you kidding me lady. Really, it was “juice”? How do you know? Did you taste it? DID YOU TASTE IT? right, I know you didn’t so don’t tell me what was in the bottle. Do you understand the seriousness of your neglect here. Things do happen, accidents do occur, but the last time I checked, it’s suppose to be three teachers with the class at all times and you are telling me that while you “picked up trash” with your backed turned to a class full of five year olds that none of the other team caught these kids before the act occurred?
Nobody noticed the filth littering the playground before hand to possibly clean it before the kids went outside? No I’m sorry, actually I’m not sorry but this is unacceptable.

The teacher was nonchalant. It was almost like she was a robot, reading a script. Of course this intensified my anger. During the conversation, she never once apologized but seemed more to place the blame on the kids. I immediately emailed my pediatrician who called me back 20 minutes later. I was like ready to take the child in for a cocktail. The doctor told me to moniter her for changes such as fever, vomiting, and diarrhea.

I called the school back an hour later and spoke to the assistant director. The nonchalant nature was in the air around there. She was the same way, and so, I had to wild her out too. Her tone was condescending and that did it for me. I can’t even say word for word. Just know, this ain’t over.

I had to pray. I was so upset I had to pray to calm down to clear my head to think straight. I’m watching my girl and I’m trusting that God covered her and the other kids from any illness or aftermath of this. I explained that she should never, ever pick up things from the ground and she knows this. But the bottom line is she is just a baby. Kids have to be watched. It wasn’t her fault. I blame the staff. They dropped the ball. Again, I received no apologies from any staff. The way they handled it was tacky, unprofessional, and blasé. I just can’t. The school year is almost over, and I have to earn my paycheck so I will have to set up other plans for five. Things are gonna have to happen now because my child has to be removed from that preschool. I just can’t have her in an environment that I have doubts about. This ain’t no free school either, I pay tuition. I pay for an award winning preschool that dropped the ball today.

They would have to work really hard to redeem theirselves from this one. I’m already in the process of setting up my meetings. Im just, so blown.

Am I overreacting? How would this make you feel if this happened to one of your babies? What would you do?

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I REALLY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF… it’s been almost two month since my last blog post. How did this happen??? Oh no… My readers, my fam, my fellow bloggers, are you all still here? I can’t blame anyone if they’ve unsubscribed and completely jumped ship. I know it seems as if my blog is abandoned but, it’s not.. I’m back! I am. Well not with a full on blog post but just to apologize and let you know, I will be posting soon. I have so much to tell you guys about. You all know, I started a new job back in February. And I was taking a class at church and studying and the kids, just oh my goodness, I need to find a balance. I spoke with a sister friend of mine this morning about that very thing. This new job is a doozy. Busier than I’ve ever been I think. Very meticulous, very detailed oriented and absolutely no room for error. I love it that it challenges me. That’s one of the main reasons I haven’t been blogging because I am so busy with work, school, kids, home life. I NEED BALANCE. But I have so much to catch you all up on, and I will, just not tonight. Got a very early morning meeting and well you know, I need that paycheck, so I have to get some sleep. Just know, I love you all.. I still have so much to give. Please don’t give up on me, and by this weekend, no later than, you will be caught up on the happenings of Dee. Ok..

Peace and blessings
Dee

Hello Dears,
You know how I feel about self empowerment and preservation. So that’s how I’m starting my Friday with encouragement and uplifting to my ladies.. (I know i have a few men readers, well just substitute lady for man, etc.- I care about you guys too!)

Rule #10 for maintaining a healthy you from the inside out:
So,things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Don’t throw in the towel just because of what happend yesterday. Sometimes yesterday is a great pathway to a major comeback for today!!!!

#11 Don’t let your representative show up. Be yourself. None are perfect and all fall short. Never suppress the person who is inside of you. Be proud. Be brave. Be you. Those who love you don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.

#12 Ladies, you are so brilliant and beautiful. Big, small, short, and tall. Variety is the spice of life. Without you, new life cannot spring forth. God didn’t equip a man to carry the fruit, he equipped him to plant it. Recognize your power, your call and your gift. You are important and you are beautiful.

#13 The same God that brought you through the madness last time is the same God that will bring you through again. His mercy endures forever. He is not through blessing you yet. Let’s claim it, name it, believe it, conceive it, and achieve it. We don’t have to wait til we get it. we can praise him for it right now. Pre-praise by way of faith. He hasn’t forgotten you, keep patient and watch him work.

#14 Find “that thing” inside of you.. You know, the thing you can’t contain, the thing that makes your fibers pulsate. Your gift, your purpose, your call, your desire. Find it, nuture it, share it, and live. Go get yo life!

#15 Don’t get upset when people try to emulate you. Be flattered, for they can try to carbon copy everything about you, except your favor.

Now take that advice and stuff it all the way down inside your pretty girl self. 🙂

I’m wearing
Dress- H&M
Tights, shoes- Target
Shrug- Old Navy
Bracelets, rings, watch
Earrings- Rashidagurl

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I had been looking for this dress for months. I couldn’t find it anywhere in my size. In November I went on a shopping trip to New York and I bought it. I was so happy and couldn’t wait to get home and try it on. Imagine me when it didn’t fit!! I then started a massive hunt to find that dress at another H&M. It turned into an obsession Finally months later, I was in H&M for some other thing, and I spotted “my”dress, in “my” size on “my” favorite rack, the clearance. I ended up only paying $7 bucks for it.. I decided to wear it after seeing it hanging up for a while. I got all kinds of compliments on this dress.

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I am praying that you all have an awesome Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Peace and Blessings,
Dee